Helping Your Child Cope with Change: Practical Tips for Parents

Let's talk about coping with change and how to help your child.

Why Change Is So Hard for Kids:

Change is hard for everyone, and yet, it's something we have to deal with all the time.

Some changes are smaller, such as your child has a substitute teacher today or an activity is canceled. Even small changes can create stress for your child. So what happens when your child goes through a big change, such as moving, changing schools, the birth of a sibling? And what happens when that change is unexpected, such as a loss?

It's probably going to be hard for a while. The good news is that there are things that you can do to make it easier and your child will cope and adjust. Children are often more resilient than we realize.

Common Reactions to Big Changes:

What are some things that could happen when bigger changes occur, especially ones that were unexpected?

• Having big feelings (sad, worried, scared, angry, confused, etc)

• Difficulty sleeping

• Changes in their appetite

• Changes in their mood

• Changes in their behavior

• Struggling in school

• Asking questions

What You Can Do to Help Kids Cope:

• Talk about their questions and help them better understand what will happen/what happened.

• Whenever possible, prepare your child for change. Explain what to anticipate, read children's books on the topic, validate your child's feelings, give them time to process, and give them choices.

• Tell your child what will not be changing. Kids might worry about who will take care of them, how their life will look, and that they won't be able to do the things they used to. Although some things may change, it's likely that a lot will stay the same. For example, you will still love and care for them, they will still go to school, etc.

• Having transition objects can help. For example, a small toy or special object that kids can take with them.

• Remember that kids will respond differently. Sometimes they'll want to talk about it and sometimes they won't. Let your child know that you are available to listen and talk to them about it. Keep the conversation going. Big changes take time to process and it's best to leave the door open to future conversations.

When to seek extra help:

• It's been a while and my child is still struggling or things have gotten worse.

• I don't know how to talk to my child about this and I need some help. Remember this is absolutely normal and some topics are incredibly hard to talk to anyone about, especially kids! A therapist can help you and your child talk about difficult topics.

• Your child may need to talk to someone else. This is something that therapists see a lot- children who are just not ready to share with their parents, even wonderful, capable, and incredibly caring parents. There are lots of reasons for this and this is not a reflection of you as a parent. Sometimes kids don't want to upset their parents by talking about things that are also hard for their parents to discuss, such as loss.

• Sometimes parents are dealing with change too.

Therapy can help you and your child navigate this together!

Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional care. If you or your child needs support, please consult a licensed mental health professional. You’re welcome to share or reproduce this content with credit to Dr. Tatyana Shchupak and a link to tspsychological.com.