Parenting Myths and Challenging Them

Let's Talk About All Those Parenting Myths.

We've all been there. You didn't sleep well, you were stressed about a deadline at work, you forgot to put your child's lunch in their lunch box (AGAIN), the laundry didn't get done, and now you snapped when they asked you for help. Your day-to-day looks nothing like the pictures you see on social media or that amazing parent in your favorite show.

You must be a bad parent, right?

Of course, that's not true. You're the kind of parent anyone is — human, imperfect, and doing your best. First, let's remember that social media posts and pictures are tiny snapshots of someone's day — a day that is filled with far more imperfect moments than perfect ones.

There are, of course, situations where a parent may act in unsafe or harmful ways. The focus of this article is not on those situations — it's about the common myths that make everyday parents feel like they're failing.

Let's Challenge Some More Myths:

• MYTH 1: If my child is struggling, I'm not a good parent.

  Parenting is complex, and what works well for one child might not work for another — even in the same family! Children can struggle for many different reasons. What matters is that you’re trying to find strategies that will help. That effort alone is a sign of a caring and committed parent.

• MYTH 2: I did it [fill in the blank] AGAIN.

  So you forgot to wash their stuffy or didn't sign the permission slip in time. Of course, that's going to feel bad, and your child might be disappointed. But remember: we all make mistakes. Not only is it unreasonable to expect perfection from yourself, but you also don't want to expect it from your child either. You can model how to handle mistakes — validate their feelings, acknowledge what happened, apologize, make it right if you can, and move on. Ruminating on every mistake won't prevent the next one — but it will make you feel worse.

• MYTH 3: I have regrets/sometimes I'm not happy.

  These are normal feelings. Would you tell your child they're not allowed to feel sad when they had a hard day? Of course not. You're allowed to feel whatever you feel. Being a parent doesn't just mean taking care of another human being — it also means your entire life changes. How could you not have feelings about that? Find ways to cope with those emotions: self-care, talking to someone, taking a break, etc. And if you're struggling with ongoing mental health concerns, consider reaching out to a therapist, psychiatrist, or other support system. You're not alone in this.

• MYTH 4: Others are doing a better job.

  As mentioned above, we're comparing ourselves to edited moments of other people's lives. You only ever see snapshots of someone else's parenting. It's easy to be critical of yourself, especially under pressure. Every parent is living under a unique set of circumstances and doing the best they can. Here's a reframe: If you see another parent doing something helpful, great — try it out! And chances are, you have done something someone else admired too.

• MYTH 5: It's not going to get better. My child will always struggle in this way.

  When you're going through a hard time, it can absolutely feel like things won't change. But we know that there are so many strategies, supports, and tools that can make a difference. You’re not stuck — even if it feels that way right now.

• MYTH 6: I should have gotten them therapy/testing sooner.

  Hindsight always makes things look clearer. In the moment, we’re making decisions with the information and resources we have — and sometimes that means we miss things. Or we just make mistakes. It's not too late. You can't change what already happened, but you can take steps forward now.

Final Thoughts

There’s no one-size-fits-all manual for parenting — and even if there were, every child would need their own version. Feeling uncertain, overwhelmed, or even regretful is part of the process. What really matters isn’t being perfect — it’s being present, reflective, and willing to keep growing.

If you're struggling with these thoughts, you're not alone. Consider reaching out to a licensed therapist — support is available, and you deserve it. Therapy can help you challenge your thoughts, understand the roots of your feelings, and improve your overall well-being.

Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional care. If you or your child needs support, please consult a licensed mental health professional. You’re welcome to share or reproduce this content with credit to Dr. Tatyana Shchupak and a link to tspsychological.com.