What Happens If I DON'T Fail?

What happens If I fail?

At some point or another, you've probably asked yourself—and maybe someone close to you—that question. Maybe you wanted to start a business, change your job or career, end or start a relationship, move across the country...whatever the goal, you started to dream about it. What it would be like if you got there, how it might feel, how it could change something important in your life for the better.

Sounds great right?

But then, for a lot of people, a single question stops everything in its tracks:

What if I fail?

And just like that, the images of your success flip into images of failure—how you'll feel when it doesn't work, how others will perceive you, the losses you might experience, and all the barriers that suddenly make your goal feel out of reach.

FEAR—ANXIETY—DREAD—SADNESS

Let's rethink this question. Why are you setting yourself up to fail before you've ever started?

Of course, I can't promise you'll reach your end goal 100% of the time. But if you don't try, you eliminate all possibility that you could. I'm not saying you should leap headfirst into an idea that's only half-baked (though I admire someone who takes a calculated risk). What I am suggesting is that you invest in yourself and your goals.

So let me ask you this:

What happens if you don't fail? What happens if you succeed?

Let's think about it:

• How long have you thought about doing this?

• What would you need to start? What resources or support systems would help?

• Do you want to be proactive or reactive? (A friend once asked me this when I was considering a big change. I still think about it today).

• How will you feel if you don't even try?

• Are you the first person to ever attempt something like this? What helped others do it?

• When's the last time you did something hard? How did you manage it? What did you learn, even when things didn't go as planned?

• What are you most afraid of? How could you prepare for that?

• What's getting in your way?

  • If you answered "I'm scared"—Is that a good reason not to try?

Let's tackle some myths:

• Myth 1: I need to be 100% committed.

  Yes—and no. Some goals require deep commitment, but there are always ways to navigate unexpected outcomes. For example, let's say you quit your job for a better one, and it's not what you expected. While you may not be able to go back, you can reconsider your role or explore other opportunities. Maybe the risk didn't pay off in the way you thought, but maybe it creates a bridge to something even better. Commitment is important—but flexibility is, too. Adjusting to new information will help you succeed long-term.

• Myth 2: I'm not seeing results. It's never going to work.

  You've spent years not doing this—why expect instant results? Change and growth take time, persistence, and grit. Hitting a wall isn't failure. Letting that wall stop you is.

• Myth 3: I don't know what I'm doing.

  Of course you don't—you've never done it before! That's normal. You'll figure it out. Seek out resources. Talk to people. Learn what works. A mentor or support system can go a long way.

• Myth 4: It's too big of a risk.

  Maybe it is. And that's okay.

  Big risks often carry big rewards—but you have to decide what level of risk you're comfortable with. Can you modify it? Take smaller steps? For example:

  • Want to travel solo? Try joining a group of solo travelers.

  • Want to change careers? Start with a class or certificate while staying in your current role.

Final Thoughts:

If this weren’t hard or scary, you wouldn’t be questioning it—or reading this article.

Change is hard. But I invite you to try asking yourself:

What if I succeed?

What’s one small step you could take today toward that goal you’ve been thinking about?

Disclaimer: This blog is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional care. If you or your child needs support, please consult a licensed mental health professional. You’re welcome to share or reproduce this content with credit to Dr. Tatyana Shchupak and a link to tspsychological.com.